Satan's Love Child

Redefining a goal

2008-07-24T23:54:00.002+10:00

I’m not sure where I lost sight, but at some point I forgot what I wanted. As each stage of my life changes I find something that reminds me, a song that says something that makes me remember what I wanted and where it has gone. Currently it is; Regina Spektor - The Call.

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
Til it was a battle cry

Remember what triggered the feeling. Remember how it opened your mind and took you places, remember the goal you drew from it. Scream your goal loud enough that you can hear it. Say it so often that you remember it, write it everywhere so you see it and never forget what you want.

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

At some point you might think it’s a lost cause, the many changing faces of your life make everything seem different, but that’s stupid talk and you know you can make anything possible.

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

This bit is the most important and hardest at the same time. Knowing who your friends are, hardest of all is dealing with the let down.

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Sometimes you have to start over, sometimes you have to start where you left off, but in the end you will succeed.

If you want it, if you need it bad enough, it shall be yours.

Feeling ...

2008-06-02T19:39:00.005+10:00

today has made me feel like shit, and it was summed up by a youtube blogger that i watched today.

Feeling like you want to go stand in the rain, screaming as loud as you can, knowing no one will hear you.

the reason no one will hear you, its coz no one is listening.

A Window...

2008-05-25T18:12:00.001+10:00

I don’t have time,
Let’s take this moment,
Let’s run away,
Live a lifetime in one day.

djm, 4:07pm, 25/5/08.

When I was 12 my best friend told me she was dieing from cancer, that ‘they’ had told her, she has 6 months at best. To know someone your whole life and they can be gone so easily in so short of a time. To have 6 months to fit; the rest of your lives together.

She would be 23 this week.

You ask why I am full on as a friend, you ask my I demand so much time, it’s because there isn’t time. You ask why I take so many photographs, they’re the memories I with I had.

Live today, you don’t know where you’ll be tomorrow.

... just a thought...

2008-05-22T23:03:00.002+10:00

having a dick doesn't make you a man.

Thought for the year.

2008-05-20T18:05:00.000+10:00

I'm a whore... but I'm pretty so its okay.

2008-05-13T16:21:00.002+10:00

humm, in Newcastle, taking some time away from Armidale, the hole in the mountains. takeing in some concert, and some art gallery, and lots and lots of taking photos.

have fun where ever you are, but i know it won't be as much as i'm having.

Farewell the house that gay built

2007-12-24T23:51:00.000+11:00

A farewell.

So it's farewell to the house that gay built
Farewell to the house where we made love
Farewell to the house where we found love
And lost love
Farewell to Juno
I will forever miss sharing my pizza shapes and chips with you
Farewell to Groover
I will forever miss you harassing Bec and getting excited as we came home
Though the world is older and colder without you in it
You will not be forgotten

It's the stories, it's the memories, it's the road trips, it's the drinks, it's the laughs, it's the photographs, it's those moments that will live on
All the beer has been bottled
All the rooms are empty
All the long goodbyes have found a tear

Vic, follow your heart, follow the open road, but always remember where home is.

Bec, the world is at your feet, it's yours time and now you answer to yourself.

Zac, love Kel with everything you can find, you deserve it as much as she does.

It's the night before Christmas and all in the house
not a lesbian is stirring...

Todays thought.

2007-11-27T00:23:00.000+11:00

Why?

...

A thought for Monday.

2007-11-19T04:53:00.000+11:00

Don't cross princess
Princess turns into bitch
And bitch does bad things to you!

...

Thought for today

2007-11-16T19:29:00.001+11:00

I love me,
and it's not my fault you can't.

It's also not my fault your ugly!
...

Thought for the day.

2007-11-12T19:41:00.000+11:00

To resist the influence of others,

knowledge of ones self is most important.

...

Oh to be gay to be gay

2007-11-08T00:47:00.000+11:00

oh spank me lesbian goddess of blogging for it has been 47 days since i last blogged!

my confession for today is... I'm a gay... no no thats not my confession,
my confession is... that i like it!

2007-09-24T04:49:00.000+10:00

A long time coming

“Wake up it's time
We need to find a better place to hide
Make up your mind
I need to know I need to know tonight “
(Foo Fighters – Razor)

“What if you
Could wish me away
What if you
Spoke those words today
I wonder if you'd miss me
When I'm gone”
(Joshua Radin - What If You)

“All I can say I shouldn't say
Can we take a ride?
Get out of this place
While we still have time”
(Jimmy Eat World - Work)

I don’t know how to clarify my current mood
I guess I’m angry, angry to the point I don’t know why I’m angry
Sometimes I do stupid things to make my self feel
Coz I get so numb that I don’t know if I can feel anything
I have just spent the weekend trying to celebrate a friend’s birthday
While the whole time I felt like I wanted to sit in a corner and cry
I shouldn’t have gone out, but I did anyway
And I drank so much to make myself act like I was happy
That I only made my self hurt more afterwards
And now I feel angry
I feel exhausted from trying to control my anger
Yet I can not sleep
And after all that I still want to sit in a corner and cry

shout out

2007-08-14T21:40:00.000+10:00

Welcomeing sexy B to the blogger world

http://cruiseydyke.blogspot.com/

A tribute to a friend.

2007-08-11T23:19:00.000+10:00

thankyou.

poster on my bedroom wall

2007-08-05T04:58:00.000+10:00

dont have a lot to say right now or there is so much to say that i dont know where to start, but i thought i would share something taken from a poster on my bedroom wall.

for every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong, there is a boy tired of appearing strong when he feels vulnerable. for every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything, there is a girl tired of people not trusting her intelligence. for every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive, there is a boy who fears to be gentle, to weep. for every boy for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity, there is a girl who is called unfeminine when she completes. for every girl who throws out her e-z-bake oven, there is a boy who wishes to find one. for every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires, there is a girl facing the ad industry's attacks on her self esteem. for every girl who takes a step towards her liberation, there is a boy who finds the way to freedom a little easier.

2007-07-09T18:43:00.001+10:00

Piontless shit!!!!!

HERE’S THE RULES…
- We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
- Players start with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
- People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
- At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people who get tagged and list their names- Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them their tagged, and to read my blog. or not !!!!!!!!

#1
I'm gay.
#2
I'm an artist and a student
#3
My fav colour is blue.
#4
A guy who said i ment a lot walked past me today in coles and didnt even see me.
#5
My 2 fav songs at the moment are;Jason Mraz - You And I BothJimmy Eat World - Work
#6
I find these and other form posts piontless.
#7
I have a mental illness.
#8
I don't need to be bord to be horny!

2007-06-21T00:28:00.000+10:00

Quote of the day!

"I fucked your girlfriend with a carrot once. You should ask her about it."
-Mysteress

The Torment

2007-06-16T17:27:00.000+10:00

when you know something that your not ment to know.
and you know the outcome isnt going to be good.
do you say something to change the outcome?
can you change the outcome?

but its not your battle and this time you might have to sit it out and let it take its course.
even though it might already have taken its course and you wont ever know.
wont ever know the outcome.

its the torment of knowing.
its the torment of not knowing.
knowing how easily it could have been different.
but also not knowing what will become.

Finding a light

2007-06-06T17:22:00.000+10:00

music of the moment: Goo Goo dolls - Name

once again i find myself at yet another cross road.
what do i want to do with my life and where do i want my life to be?
is my heart still in armidale or is it somewhere else?
do i want to finish uni? do i want to do something new?
do i want to continue with photography or take up sculpture?

i am considering takeing uni slowly and continueing with all artistic outlets, it keeps me sane, expression allows me to outwardly place my emotions with out anyone really knowing thats wat it i have done, ppl rnt smart enough to realise it.

i kno im searching for myself and trying to find my own place in the world and that causes all these questions to come up and im prolly lookin in the wrong bloody places, coz i havent found wat i am looking for yet.

too many fucking questions!!!!!!!!!